My explanatory guide on subjects to be avoided at all costs in ELT materials.
Pornography
Student: Teacher, what is 'pornography'?
Teacher: Er, it's pictures of naked people.
Student: Do you mean like paintings?
Teacher: Er, not really.
Student (smelling blood now): So, what is the difference?
Teacher: ... Why don't you ask Michel? He was looking at some on one of the student lounge computers just this morning.
Alcohol
Qatari education minister: So, you want to supply my country with your English books?
Publisher: That's right. We have some top-quality authors and our books have won awards from the British Council.
Qatari education minister: What is this picture on page 55?
Publisher: Oh, that... That's just ... some young people, at a party, sipping ... non-alcoholic cocktails?
Qatari education minister: Next!
Racism
Teacher: Today we're going to discuss racism. Anyone have any stories they'd like to share?
Student: My sister was beaten to death by white supremacists.
Teacher: On second thoughts, let's turn to the grammar section on page 11.
Sex
Teacher: Today we're going to talk about sex. Perhaps those of you I've already slept with could get into pairs and give me a score out of five. The rest of you should line up in the corridor outside the storeroom.
Narcotics
Teacher: Class, let's talk about drugs, and the evil they do to our society.
Student: Carlos sells the best weed. Honestly, you should try some.
Carlos: Yeah, anyone not have my number?
Islam
Teacher: So what do we know about the ancient religion of Islam?
Chinese student: Muslims are all terrorists and women-haters.
Muslim student: Chinese people eat dogs and babies!
Italian student: Who wants to hear a joke about 9/11?
Pork
Qatari education minister: Ah, I see you have chosen some more appropriate pictures for your textbooks this year.
Publisher: Yes, we spent a lot of money checking and then reprinting the series to remove all possible connotations of sexual behaviour or alcohol consumption. I think you'll be delighted with the results.
Qatari education minister: What is this picture here, on page 121?
Publisher: It ... appears to be a young man ... enjoying a ... bacon sandwich... I'll get my coat.
NYT: Last Ones Left in a Toxic Town
35 minutes ago
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7 comments:
Heh. This week I have been mostly teaching "Transport, how to know if someone is being rude to you in the context of getting from A to B"
This has also involved me saying
"Is this YOUR seat."
"IS this your seat."
"Is THIS your seat."
and
"Is this your SEAT"
Until I can no longer remember what any of the words mean.
Teaching about pork marinaded in alcohol, served with drugs, refused by a Muslim while you have sex with a racist sounds like a welcome break. Maybe have an "in case of emergency" pack of such resources?
Remind me again why a multicultural society is such a wonderful thing?
Kel: the phrase 'have sex with a racist' is making me laugh.
Johnny: See the paragraph on 'Sex' for the obvious answer to that.
As usual Bureauista, oestrogen logic is defeating me on this one.
I did read a couple of years ago about an Australian artist who was doing some illustrations for a US textbook publisher. He was told to redo them because he'd included images of free-standing wardrobes and unsliced bread, and this would supposedly confuse US children.
Johnny: even worse, testosterone logic is defeating you. I'll explain next time we meet.
Tim: pissing myself laughing.
{laughing pretty hard at both the original post and Tim's comment...}
You always have a post that I need on a Monday.
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